Through the process of kickass recovery and relentless focus on happiness and healing, I’ve accomplished a personal transformation, created a new lifestyle and discovered my authentic self. Sixteen years ago I was a hardcore drug addict living in a rat-infested shack, unemployable, estranged from my family, filled with rage and self-loathing. My driver’s license was suspended.
Addiction had been the central focus of my life for over nine years, during which time I spent a year homeless — sleeping under bridges and in abandoned houses. I’d survived a number of physical and sexual assaults — traumatic experiences resulting from my self-destructive behavior, that is, exposing myself to dangerous situations and associating with violent individuals in the obsessive pursuit of addictive substances. I suffered from PTSD as a result of repeated trauma.
But one day, a miracle happened when I looked at my life objectively. I realized that I was utterly miserable and I couldn’t go another day in my present condition. I prayed for help. I got down on my knees, didn’t fold my hands or anything, kept my eyes open, and fervently murmured the heathen prayers of a junkie, “God, whoever you are, wherever you are, help me. I’m so unhappy, and I want to be happy. Please help me.” At that point, my mind quieted, and after about 30 seconds, a thought crossed my mind. “Hey, maybe it’s the dope.” That was my miracle, because I accepted the fact that I was powerless over my addiction, but that I could change if I worked a plan of action toward recovery. I began taking steps toward healing, one day at a time.
From that point on, I’ve marched down the road of kickass recovery and personal transformation. I kicked addiction — cigarettes and coffee included — started working out six days a week, thinking positive, got a job and rode a bicycle till I got my license back, got a car, became a professional standup comic in Los Angeles. I toured the U.S. professionally and went back to school.
I now hold four professional certifications in addiction treatment and I’m a member of the National Speakers Association. I’ve published a critically acclaimed memoir and my articles have been published in many corporate and trade publications. I married the man of my dreams, a wonderful guy I met during my years in the drug scene. We made our comeback together. Also I’ve reunited with my family.
Today I am lucky enough to own real estate, which is really exciting for a formerly homeless person. I’ve still got a long way to go to fulfill my dreams, but I am on my way and loving the journey. I hope you will benefit from my story — I am living proof that even the seemingly hopeless cases recover, heal, and triumph.